One More Time
by Koharu-chan
Summary: Sanosuke confesses something and Kaoru does not answer back. Oneshot. SanosukeXKaoru KenshinXKaoru Love triangle!


**Author's notes: Konnichiwa minna-san! I hope you like this ficcie! Aw...poor Sanosuke! Anyways, I'm borrowing the plot of the story from 'Kiri'! Prepare some tissues...this is full of drama and angst.  
  
...also my first one-shot!   
  
This is either SanosukeXKaoru or KenshinXKaoru... I don't know!**

* * *

**One More Time**  
Koharu-chan  
  
I sat and stared at the delightful day around me, wishing it were raining.  
  
Rain would have been better for it would suit my mood right now. I needed  
some distraction--the droplets of water that came from the sky above.  
  
Yes. The raindrops were the tears of the angels, as Taisho said.  
Tears...heh. Tears indeed.  
  
But instead, the sun shone brightly, pouring yellow everywhere and giving a  
bluish-green color to the clear river in front of me where some people  
don't care about just now.  
  
I looked up at the deep blue sky that seemed to drown me. Deep  
blue...indeed.  
  
I buried my head in my hands silently.  
  
Kaoru jou-chan is probably still inside the dojo where she usually stays to clean up and Kenshin might be just there to lend a helping hand. I did not want to see those 'blue eyes' yet, and here the sky was taunting me with my  
actions.  
  
I am a selfish person--I know that. I'm not as kind, as good, or as wise as Kenshin. I suppose I'm not meant to be. I am his best friend, and I gave my all to support Kenshin and protect his woman, his Kaoru which I have done  
perfectly, except for only once, recently, where I placed my needs, my  
wants, above her protection. One failing or one mistake is too many.  
  
_"You can't just tell me I meant nothing to you!" _

And then she fixed those dark blue eyes on me, summer sky and winter storm  
mixed into one, and denied everything.

I think what was worse than the despair was the actual fact that I had failed my best friend and his Kaoru whom I should protect. If I had done  
this once, why not again? I had _failed_ Kenshin.

I realized when I first met 'her', she had only one close friend and a so-  
called brat whom she's happy with. Her closest friend was Kenshin and I  
knew that she's in love with him very much, but why can't I keep the burning urge inside me to touch and kiss those exquisitely shaped lips of  
hers that Kenshin only owned?  
  
She was naïve and innocent, which made my heart, beat faster. I also  
thought that when I first her, she would be too boastful because of her looks. But no. She even puts herself down sometimes, thinking that she was  
ugly. She was not like Megumi or anyone like her...  
  
She was different from any other women...  
  
...and that made me fall for her.  
  
And I did fall. In those deep blue eyes that stared at me in shock a while  
ago.  
  
Weak!! I was _too_ weak!  
  
Why didn't I think before 'that' incident happened that she is the  
'beloved' of Kenshin, my best friend?!  
  
I stood up slowly from the ground, certain that my face was as cool as  
always. I ran a hand through my hair, assuring myself that no one could  
tell the difference from before to now.  
  
I straightened my white jacket, brushed away the memory of tears from my  
cheeks, and turned slowly to go back to my little, uncozy house.  
  
"Kenshin's already finished cooking the food. Time for lunch, Sanosuke."  
  
And I saw her standing there, leaning against the trunk of the tree, her hair being blown by the breeze that made her look more like a goddess. The smile she gave me was unchanged, unflagging, her bright eyes gazing only at  
me.  
  
"Sanosuke, you shouldn't make me look for you like this," she said, and the  
tone of her voice was exactly the same.  
  
I caught myself blushing and wanting to cry, torn apart in some instance, but I gave her an apologetic smile. "Gomen, jou-chan, I was just enjoying  
the view."  
  
Of course she knew I was lying, but it didn't matter. What did matter was the pretense we kept up. If that were there, then nothing would be wrong.  
  
She nodded to me slightly then turned around. I stepped forward to follow, but she suddenly stopped. "You know, Sano... I hope this has not changed  
anything."  
  
Several thoughts came to my mind at once. First, she had said my name sweetly, so delicately. I shut that thought out immediately. Then...changed  
what? Our friendship, if you could call it like that? My feelings?  
  
I was quiet for a while. "Jou-chan, I promised to Kenshin that I would  
always protect you. I do not go back on my word."  
  
She paused for a moment, seeming to think this over, and then nodded, satisfied. Her steps led her to the too familiar Kamiya dojo silently, and  
I followed.  
  
When I entered the room behind me, it was as if nothing had changed. The wind chime she had been fixing was placed on the wood near the roof; the  
other plates neatly arranged at the corner of the room...everything was  
normal again.  
  
I felt a blush creep upon my face but kept my eyes down from being seen. Kenshin, who was pouring miso soup in each cup, gave me a strange look, but  
I ignored him.  
  
Yahiko fixed his stare at me and I tried hard to keep my patience in me.  
  
Lunch in the Kamiya dojo, as always, was great. I heard Kaoru, Kenshin and Yahiko talking about something like the upcoming festival or some sort. I  
just nodded and dwelt on other things that I viewed more important. One  
part of me was listening, and I'd think about this later, but...that  
taste...which I never have felt and tasted before...it...  
  
"Sano?" inquired Kaoru calmly.  
  
"It's fine with me," I said, unsure and uncaring.  
  
Kenshin and Yahiko gave me another odd look, but were silent. Kaoru frowned  
at me. I met her eyes, gaze unflinching. It was she who looked away.  
  
She stood up suddenly. "A-no...Kenshin, I'm still hungry... Would you go  
and buy some tofu for me?" she asked; her voice so soft.  
  
I stiffened. Why would she want tofu now?  
  
"Certainly, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin gladly answered and stood up with a smile.  
  
"Yahiko, can you go with Kenshin? I want you to find a store which is still selling tofu, since it's late and you still have sharp eyes... Please, you  
two?" she asked.  
  
"You'll pay for this, busu!" Yahiko exclaimed while chuckling, followed by  
Kenshin with a tofu bucket, also chuckling.  
  
"Then...we'll be back. See you two later." Kenshin said and walked out of  
the room.  
  
I watched and heard the dojo gate being opened then closed quietly behind the two individuals. I slowly stood up, looking away from her, preparing to  
leave the dojo as well.  
  
"Sano, please stay."  
  
The tension and nervousness that welled up in my stomach at her words were  
almost dizzying. ...Stay?  
  
I turned around and turned my eyes to Kaoru, silent.  
  
She was looking away from me as a soft sigh escaped her lips. "Sano..."  
  
"Gomen," I said and truly meant it, but my voice was extremely controlled.  
"It will not repeat itself."  
  
She sighed again and turned back to me, though her eyes still did not meet  
mine.  
  
So she did not want apologies. This looked worse for me. "Because I have  
failed you, it's fine with me if you wish to-"  
  
"Sano," she said sharply, cutting me off, her eyes finally meeting mine. So  
she did not want apologies or for me to leave. Then...what was left?  
"Please don't interrupt me."  
  
I wanted to flinch. She had never spoken to me like that before. But I  
remained silent.  
  
She took a deep breath then let it out slowly. I simply watched, awaiting my fate for my insubordinate behavior. "I don't know what to say to you,  
Sano..."  
  
I blinked. I had...stumped Kaoru? Certainly that was impossible.  
  
"I have never been in this situation before..." Her young features were  
washed with concern. She fiddled with her obi a bit. "But you know what position I am in now... I can't accept even if I wanted to." She paused,  
searching for a reaction in my face. I gave her none.  
  
_Even if I wanted to..._  
  
I had expected her not to want it, but this forthright way of saying it  
swayed me a bit. It stung.  
  
"I love both you and Kenshin." She explained in a whisper. "...but one must  
love and marry only one person, right? Before 'that' incident, I had  
thought of this over and over again. I was confused, Sano, confused. It seemed that the outcome had been Kenshin...but I still wanted you...and..."  
  
_Still wanted you..._  
  
I nodded slowly. "I understand jou-chan. It was wrong of me, and I'm  
sorry." Even I was surprised on how nonchalant I sounded.  
  
She looked frustrated because she knew she wasn't getting through me. I felt bad, but this was the only way I knew how to deal with this sort of  
situation.  
  
Slowly she walked around the little table in the middle, seating herself on  
the dojo floor. She placed her feet outside, on the ground. She turned  
around to face me again. I started, her position being so similar to-  
  
_"Jou-chan, I need to speak to you," My voice was gripped with tension, and it caught her attention immediately. I was standing in front of the little  
table and I slowly walked around. She followed me with her eyes.  
  
"Something wrong, Sano?" she asked, her voice so tender, so comforting. She  
was fixing the red wind chime while I watched her intently.  
  
"Jou-chan," I started, but then I stopped, trying to breathe. My voice was tight, and I was fumbling at the last minute for words. "Kaoru, I...I..." I  
shook my head slightly, giving up, then just did it.  
  
I leaned forward; breath caught in my throat and just kissed her,  
desperately trying to tell her everything that I had felt for so long,  
since I had met her, in one fell swoop.  
  
And she did fall. In her surprised efforts to get away from me, she tipped  
over the edge of the floor she was sitting on, reached for something to hold on, but unfortunately, she grabbed the plates that were beside her and it scattered all over the ground. She landed with a crash, I on top of her.  
The wind chime also fell, and it made a noise.  
  
I scrambled off, red-faced and ashamed. "Kaoru! Are you all-"And then I  
froze.  
  
The way she was looking at me, a mixture of horror and shock, bluish-black hair falling over her face like the hair of an angel. She looked as if... I  
had violated her... desecrated the sacred temple that was her lips.  
  
"You can't just tell me I meant nothing to you!" I whispered roughly, my  
voice cracking.  
  
Blue eyes regarded me quietly, the control reclaimed as quickly as it had  
been lost. "You know I can't..." she said, her voice soft, completely  
drowning any ray of hope I had had with reality.  
  
I simply stood and burst out the door, trying to run so far away that she would forget I had hurt her so badly, not only her body, but her faith and trust in me. I hid myself down by the bridge above the river and had cried  
and cried. Then... the river... the sky... _

I think she saw the look on my face, for she suddenly leaned forward, eyes  
seeking mine. "Sano..."

I did not meet them, my face flushed. "Jou-chan?""One more time...then never again."I blinked, my gaze jerking to her. But...her eyes were open and serious.  
"One...""Please." She stopped, looking away now. "I can't... ever... I can't let someone get hurt just because of my decision... so maybe, just once... I could understand a bit...?" Her blue eyes were almost pleading as they came back to me and I realized how young she was, how young we both were. "So I'm not  
surprised this time."

I understood exactly what she meant. Nodding my head once, I kneeled beside her. For a moment I studied her, trying to ascertain whether this is what  
she truly wanted or not. She smiled at me slightly, knowing what I was  
doing. I returned her smile and leaned forward toward her.  
  
**Owari **


End file.
